Mood:
quizzicalTopic: Funny Stuff
A good friend of mine sent me this, I had to pass it on...
Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"
Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
chatty
TV Cameraman Fined
in Cleveland offered to put them on TV if they rode through the water on a bridge, according to a police report. They said a reporter waded into the water so they would be riding behind her in the video.
Police cited Abrahamsen with misdemeanor 
Judy Shaw, an assistant to WEWS Vice President and General Manager John Butte, said the station had no comment.
Norwalk, about halfway between Toledo and Cleveland in 
sharp
chillin'
NY Times, a.k.a.
THE JIHAD JOURNAL 
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silly
This is the most hilarious shit I've seen in a while, the libtards are accusing Ohio Secretary of State Ken Blackwell of "playing politics" with his POLITICAL CAMPAIGN WEBSITE!!! 
(What a capital crime) 
Apparently, the Demented-crats have taken a vacation from accusing Republicans of "suppressing voter turnout"... because now they're bitching that Ken Blackwell's website makes registering to vote "too easy!" (This from the same group of libtards that created "moter voter", and countless other voter registration drives.) 
Columbus -- Looking for an easy way to register to vote? Simply print the form on the Web site of Secretary of State Ken Blackwell, fill it out by hand, and mail it in.
Looking for an even easier way to register to vote? Simply fill in the online form on Blackwell's gubernatorial campaign Web site, print it out and mail it in.
Accused by Democrats and left-leaning voter-registration groups of trying to curtail the Democratic vote, Ohio's Republican chief elections official has given his critics another reason to question his motives.
"It shows he has an agenda," said Jennifer Brunner, the Democratic candidate for secretary of state. 
"The only explanation for why it's easier to get a voter-registration form from the campaign Web site as opposed to the secretary of state's Web site is that he wants to favor certain voters, and those are the voters who support him."
Spokesmen for the Blackwell campaign and the secretary of state's office strongly denied that claim early Tuesday, but officials in the secretary's office moved quickly that afternoon to defuse the issue.
Secretary of state spokesman James Lee said information technology staff will convert the voter-registration document into a form that can be filled out online.
"It will take only a matter of days to do that," Lee said. "That seems like a feasible and immediate way to make the document more user-friendly."
As is the case with the campaign Web site, registrants will have to print out the form, sign it and mail or hand-deliver it to elections officials.
Carlo LoParo, Blackwell's campaign spokesman, said it was absurd to conclude that Blackwell is trying to make it easier for Republicans to register than Democrats, and both he and Lee said Blackwell deserves credit for helping to register more than 1 million voters before the 2004 election.
"We've worked hard with organizations of every imaginable political interest to provide them with the resources to conduct voter-registration drives," Lee said. "The accusation that we haven't worked hard to make sure that people in Ohio are registered is unfounded."
Brunner also noted that the form on Blackwell's campaign site requests an ID number. Under Ohio law, voters are required to supply only the last four digits of their Social Security numbers or their driver's license numbers. If they have neither, the state will assign them a number.
Brunner said people who fill out the online form could easily include an entire Social Security number, unaware that the request is voluntary. She also questioned whether Blackwell's campaign is collecting the data.
Absolutely not, LoParo said.
Blackwell's office is scrubbing thousands of Social Security numbers from the secretary's Web site to settle a class-action lawsuit filed against him in March.
The registration forms can be found at
cheeky
mischievious
A Picture's Worth 90,000 Dollars
The following photo, reportedly taken from Rep. William Jefferson's (D-LA) kitchen countertop, was e-mailed on conditions of strict anonymity.
The 
.
Those bills matched the serial numbers of money stashed in a leather briefcase by law enforcement last July and given to an FBI informant who allegedly handed it over to Jefferson, who then supposedly put the case in a cloth bag, stuffs the bag in a car and then drives the car away.
Hat Tip: 
lyrical
Lionel Richie arrives at Candie's Foundation 3rd annual "Event to Prevent" benefit at Gotham Hall on May 9, 2006, in New York City. >>>>>
Baghdad's Lionel Richie Obsession
American Pop Star Is an Iraq Obsession
I have been to Iraq nine times
since the American
I decided I had to investigate, and not just investigate, I decided I had to ask Lionel Richie himself. So I called him from Baghdad. Actually it was a formal interview. It was the first interview with Lionel Richie ever on the subject of Iraq and Iraqis.
I asked Richie if he knows just how big he is here. He said, "The answer is, I'm huge, huge in the Arab world. The answer as to why is, I don't have the slightest idea."
He has performed in Morocco, Dubai, Qatar and Libya. There is obviously something up there. The more we talked, the more he theorized as to the reasons his music might be so popular here. He thinks it is because of the simple message in his music: Love
.
Richie says he was told Iraqis were playing "All Night Long," on the streets the night U.S. tanks rolled into the country in 2003.
When I told him his daughter wasn't nearly as big as he is here, he said, "I'll be sure to tell her that she needs to work harder."
Richie was no supporter of the war, but he says he could see a day when he would come and perform in Baghdad. I would love to be here for that. I have reported many stories here in Iraq, many of them sad, some inspiring, but none of them quite like this.
d'oh
Teen Accused of Sign Theft May Be Deported 
was arrested May 11 on charges he stole the sign outside a convenience store where day laborers seek work. The store has been the scene of protests supporting stricter enforcement of immigration laws.
While Martines was in custody, immigration authorities determined he entered the country illegally last year through Texas.
Mayor Accused Of Discounting Water Bills
The state police affidavit says that in another case, Anderson tried to solicit sex from a woman for several years because of her delinquent water account and later paid her $100 for sex.